Coping Strategies When You Feel Like Self-Harming

Support for Self-Harm Urges: Healthier Coping Strategies

If you self-harm, these strategies may help reduce the urge or offer safer ways to address the emotions behind it. Support is available. You’re not alone.

 

Why People Self-Harm

When painful or difficult emotions overwhelm you, self-harm may seem like a way to:

• Regain a sense of control
• Feel something when you’re otherwise numb
• Express or distract from unwanted emotions
• Punish yourself

However, self-harm carries serious risks:

• You may accidentally injure yourself severely and require urgent medical care.
• It often leads to guilt, embarrassment, or helplessness.
• It doesn’t resolve emotional pain and can delay getting effective support.

Even when you know self-harm isn’t a healthy coping method, it can be hard to stop in moments of distress. But there are healthier ways to cope — both for immediate relief and for long-term healing.

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Step 1: Identify the Emotion and the Purpose Behind It

Before acting on the urge, try asking: “Why do I want to hurt myself?”

Once you understand the underlying emotion, you can try an alternative that meets that same need:

• Anger? Try physical outlets like air punches or jumping jacks.
• Lonely or ignored? Message a friend, call a loved one, or say hi to someone nearby.
• Numb? Try something that brings pleasant sensations like:
• A warm bath/shower
• Eating a favorite food
• Being outside in nature
• Getting a massage

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Step 2: Change Your Environment

Even small environmental shifts can help reduce urges:

•Sit by an open window to feel fresh air

•Step outside your door or sit on the porch

•Walk around the block or explore a nearby park

Bonus: Nature and movement both release “feel-good” chemicals and help distract from distress.

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Step 3: Move Your Body

Physical activity doesn’t need to be intense. Try:

• Dancing or yoga routines from YouTube
• Stretching while listening to music or a podcast
• Walking a dog or taking a stroll with a friend
• Doing light bodyweight exercises (e.g. 1-minute half squats)

Even gentle movement can lift your mood.

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Step 4: Be Around People

Being around others — even in public places — can ease loneliness:

• Grab a coffee or snack and sit in a park
• Visit a bookstore, museum, or library
• Invite a friend over to watch a movie
• Write or draw while surrounded by background noise in a café or mall

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Step 5: Talk to Someone You Trust

It’s okay to open up. You don’t need to give every detail. Try saying:

• “I feel like hurting myself, but I don’t want to. Can you stay with me for a while?”
• “I’m overwhelmed and trying to cope. Can we hang out or talk for a bit?”
• “I could really use some loving company right now. Do you have time to meet?”
• Trusted people could include a friend, therapist, mentor, or relative.

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Step 6: Listen to Music or Spoken Word

Music can distract, uplift, and help you process emotions:

• Try upbeat or energizing playlists
• Classical, lo-fi, or nature sounds can soothe
• Audiobooks or podcasts offer spoken distraction
• Avoid music that deepens sadness unless it helps you process intentionally

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Step 7: Try Guided Imagery

Visualizing calming scenes can help override distress. Here’s how:

1. Sit or lie down, close your eyes, and breathe deeply.
2. Picture a peaceful place (real or imagined).
3. Add sensory details — sounds, smells, colors, sensations.
4. Explore that space mentally and breathe slowly.
5. Inhale peace, exhale distress. Remind yourself you can revisit this place anytime.

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Step 8: Express Yourself Creatively

When words are too much, creativity can help:

• Draw, paint, sculpt, or doodle
• Create symbols or scenes that represent your emotions
• Decorate or rearrange your space
• Modify clothing (paint, add patches, etc.)

Bonus: Creative flow states help block out pain and increase focus, satisfaction, and calm.

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Step 9: Try Harm Minimization Techniques

These short-term strategies can help reduce harm:

• Snap a rubber band on your wrist
• Hold ice cubes
• Draw red lines on your skin instead of cutting
• Pinch yourself lightly
• Eat spicy or sour candy
• Squeeze a stress ball or scream into a pillow
• Punch a cushion (not yourself)

If you’re still self-harming:

• Use sterile tools
• Keep someone nearby you trust
• Reduce intensity (e.g., scratching instead of cutting)
• Clean and treat wounds right away

These methods are not long-term solutions, but may reduce risks as you work toward stopping completely.

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Final Thoughts

While coping strategies can reduce the urge to self-harm, they don’t address the root emotional pain.

That’s why working with a trained therapist is essential.

Therapy can help you:

• Understand and process your emotions
• Explore triggers and patterns
• Build new, healthy coping mechanisms
• Heal in the long term

 

 

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